Take your time on Hillsborough. No, really

Football On The Fieldby: The Independent
published: 12 September 2013

This inquiry being held into the Hillsborough disaster is racing along isn’t it? This week it was revealed that just 24 years after it happened, and only one year after the original verdict of accidental death was declared false, the inquiry has already interviewed 1 per cent of the police officers whose original statements were mysteriously altered.

At this rate the whole interviewing process will be done in another 99 years, then after a short break of four or five years for a snack it should reach a verdict sometime in the 23rd century. They would be even quicker, but they’re already conducting an inquiry into the Battle of Waterloo and their conclusions are due any day soon.

To be fair, they’d reached this figure of three interviews by mid-August, so yesterday they were asked if the number had gone up since then, and a spokesman said, “It’s changing on a daily basis so we’re not giving a rolling total.” You might spot, if you’ve a keen detective’s eye, that if they’ve interviewed three people in a year it’s not strictly speaking changing on a daily basis.

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